I never dreamt that one day I'd be standing here as your successor.
Headmaster, you've been the indisputable captain of this ship for many years and
today I'm taking over the helm from you.
There is one thing that I regret, and I know many of my colleagues do too.
That Suzanne, your dear wife and our much missed colleague, isn't here too.
A new chapter of your life is starting today and I, and everyone here, wish you
a long and well-earned retirement. Francine?
All the best.
Well?
How was yesterday? - Good morning, Julien.
How was it? - Fine.
Fine, fine. - Fine.
What's the matter? Why are you sitting in the dark?
It's not working. - It's not working? Again?
So tell me then. What did they give you?
A linocutting set. - Linocutting? That's a nice present.
I didn't get anything from Sabena. Just thrown out on the street. Bloody Swiss!
There! And then there was light!
Thanks, Julien. - Right.
We'll be spending more time together now, eh?
We... God, it's her again! We never get to have a chat in peace.
Right, I'll see you later.
Good morning, Mr Leopold. - Good morning, Ada.
Was Maarten at the party? - It wasn't a party.
It was just a get-together, a speech, a drink...
That's all. - Didn't he come?
I didn't invite him. My son's memories of that school aren't exactly fond ones.
He had a hard time at that school. - That was his own fault.
I only expected the same of him as of the other pupils. No more and no less.
Maarten had other talents.
Could we have a talk, Mr Leopold?
I thought that's what we were doing! - I've become a grandmother.
Is it... Did uh... uh...
Cristina. - Yes. A baby?
A strapping son.
5 kg 20. - Wonderful.
I'm going back. To Romania. - Of course.
To stay.
I want to be near my grandchild.
What about me? Who'll look after me? - You've got time to do it yourself now.
I'll start on the bedrooms.
Sit down.
Julien...
I need a wife.
No problem. You can have mine.
Seriously? - I...
I don't want to be on my own any more. - But you're not on your own.
You've got me. And that Gestapo woman who does all the work.
Ada's going home.
To stay?
What a shame!
Isn't a new wife a bit radical?
I wouldn't say a word against Suzanne, even though she couldn't stand me.
Julien. - Going from one extreme...
I don't want to argue about it. I've decided.
Have you? Right.
And... how are you going to find a wife?
The newspaper?
An advertisement? - Maybe.
You have to move with the times. Property of Swissair...
There. 'The site of true love.' Here you are.
Do the true love test and find happiness here.
I'm not sure about that, Julien.
I'll register you.
Your code number is JL69- 69. That's a good start!
Wanted: Woman?
Yes, of course. - Age?
No younger than forty. - Minimum forty. Maximum?
Sixty. - Fifty-five. Here, the test.
What are your two main reasons for wanting a relationship?
For you I've put 'helping with the housekeeping and regular sex.'
Julien! - No regular sex?
Write domesticity and intimacy. - Intimacy...
You could also say you want children. - No, no children!
Which of these two images most appeals to you?
A. - B. Definitely B.
A. - B is more feminine and...
A. - B.
Am I looking for a wife or are you? - A.
Which expression best expresses how you feel?
A: Love is blind. B: Marriage is forever.
C: Each to their own...
H. Love conquers all. - Yeah?
Congratulations, JL69- 69, your details are now stored in our data bank.
There are 25 members with whom you have more than 50 matching points.
25 women who match you. You?!
I'd never have thought that. What an amazing success!
You're almost married. Leopold... That's fantastic!
I'm ready. - Coming...
That's it then.
Uh, this is for... For you.
For everything you did for me... for us.
Right.
Um... and this is for you.
Thank you.
I almost forgot. I've found someone to look after you.
I don't think that'll be necessary.
Alina, my niece. She'd like to come and work here.
She's not expensive. Cheaper than me. She's coming by train. Next week.
I've written everything down.
Well, maybe for a short while.
Maarten! - Ada.
Sugared almonds. - From Cristina?
Tudor, a son. 5 kg 20.
Ada's going back to Romania. To stay. - But I'll write to you.
A photo of your grandson.
I'll miss you.
Take care, Leopold.
Are you ready? - Ready?
The anniversary of Mum's death. The graveyard.
Maarten? Give me five minutes, Maarten!
Alina Bugel... Bugeliu.
Is that a good idea, Leopold? Another stranger in the house?
She's probably even bossier and uglier than Ada.
And anyway, you'll soon have a new wife, because, pal...
You've got mail! E-mails... Loads of them.
With photos. Lots, eh? - Hmm, yes.
We're going to do this systematically, Leopold.
I'll read them... Uh, no, you can read them.
Of course. You read them and I'll look at them.
Hello Mr Vossius. - Doesn't look bad, from a distance, eh?
Sorry. Well? Well?
I haven't started yet, Julien. - Go on then, read them...
I would like to say that your profile on the True Love website...
Truelove. Com.
...really appealed to me. - Great.
You seem to be a level-headed man.
A man who is in control of his life and isn't easily upset.
Eleven yes's, eight maybes and the rest no's. Not bad. Now what?
We'll let the no's know that I'm not interested.
I'll read the maybes again this evening.
And the yes's? - I'll arrange to meet them.
Good plan. Who first?
Hold on. Sophia, Monique, Erna, Evelien... Choose one. Ingrid...
Not like that. I have to be able to... have a clear idea. It has to be...
Clearly organised. - Arranged clearly.
A system. - That you can...
A filing system, maybe. Something. - Yeah, yeah. I've got it.
Your yes's here and your maybes here. When you've finished looking...
Close the cupboard. It's like a portfolio.
You can take it to a bar, for example. There... Coffee, please.
Is that Sophia Delue?
This is Leopold Vossius. From Truelove. Com.
Your e-mail really made an impression on me and now I would like...
Exactly.
Whenever is convenient for you. I'm free then, yes.
Do you know Bloch in Veldstraat?
Vossius.
Leopold Vossius.
Pleased to meet you.
Be quiet! Be a good girl!
All dressed up I see!
Jeanine sent some food for you. It's really nice.
I couldn't eat anything now. - Eat!
No. - You've got to eat.
You haven't eaten properly since Ada left. Eat!
What day is it today? - Sophia day.
The niece. Isn't that...? That's today!
That's now!
Think of Sophia, forget the Russian. - Romanian!
Davina?
Miss... Alina? - Alina.
Leopold Vicious?
Vossius. - Vossius.
Did you have a good journey? - Thank you.
I speak Dutch. Course... gift from Aunt Ada.
Where are you staying? I can take you there. Uh, address?
That's my address. I asked where you were staying.
Sleeping.
Aunt Ada said I sleep with you.
You can't. Aunt Ada didn't sleep with me... uh, sleep at my house.
Aunt Ada, own house.
Have you got any friends here? - Only you.
We'll look for a hotel near the station. There are plenty.
No, I have no money.
Aunt Ada said I sleep at your house.
You can have a room in my house. Temporarily. For a short time.
I'll pay you at the end of the month and you can look for a room in town.
Understand? - Understand.
Wait here. In here. Maybe you can have a drink.
I'll be back.
Sophia Delue? - Leo.
Leopold. Leopold Vossius.
Sorry, I got stuck in traffic. - The traffic can be bad these days, eh?
Yes, sir? - A coffee, please.
I'll have another port. - A coffee for sir and a port for madam.
Here you are, this is for you. - For me?
A little something. - You shouldn't have.
A drawing. - Yes...
Oh, a tree. It's lovely. An etching?
A linocut. - Oh.
My husband was an expert on art. He loved paintings.
I loved my jewellery. That's why he called me his little gem.
It's lovely. L.V.?
Is that you? Is it? Did you make it?
You never said you were an artist.
It's a hobby. - Oh, is it? It's lovely anyway.
Tell me, Leo. My husband died of cancer, what did your wife die of?
Goodbye.
Good evening, sir.
Thank you very much. - Goodbye.
And welcome to our country. - Thank you.
Thank you.
Are you still here?
An instant success, you and Sophia, eh? - It's not Sophia, it's the daily help.
The Russian? - Romanian.
She's not staying here? - She doesn't have any friends or money.
Leopold, Leopold, Leopold... - It's only till the end of the month.
One night is enough for you to be... And your house emptied.
You hear about it all the time. - She's related to Aunt Ada.
And, uh... What about Sophia? Did you see her?
Yes.
And? - Fine.
Fine? - Fine.
Did she look like her photo? - Quite.
And the conversation? - Not bad. We had a nice chat.
But she liked her port! - That's just nerves.
Her husband had a bakery in Zomergem. She sold it after he died.
When's the next date? - We didn't arrange one.
Didn't she want to? - She did.
I'm missing something. She looks great, is rolling in money, is easy to talk to
but you don't want to see her again.
I didn't say that. But how do I know if she's the most suitable one?
Maybe there's someone among the other ladies who...
...who's better, who suits me better.
I understand. You want to compare Sophia with all the others.
A sort of comparative product test. You're right, Leopold.
What did you say to her?
That I was going to Australia for two weeks and I'd phone her when I got back.
Australia?
Who's number two? - I don't know.
We'll go and have a look now. Come on.
Suzanne wouldn't let me go up there.
Well, you're allowed now.
The beam!
Has the Russian woman had anything to eat, Leopold?
On the train.
This is where you draw your tree from. - Yes.
I didn't know that.
Right, which one is your next match? - Well...
How about Anne-Marie Goffin? - OK.
Seventy-six matching points.
She sings in a choir, does social work and loves art.
She'll fit you like a glove! Phone her. - Now?
Of course. She's sitting there amongst her art and social work waiting for you.
OK.
Two, four, ten...
Two, five.
Oh, right, I ought to... I've gotta go.
If Jeanine wakes up in front of the TV and I'm not there, she'll think I've...
I've gotta go.
I really wonder who your new wife will be. I've got to live with her too.
Mrs Anne-Marie Goffin? This is Leopold Vossius.
From Truelove. Com. Yes.
Your e-mail really made an impression on me... and now...
Sit down. - Thank you.
Breakfast egg soldiers, OK? - Yes, please.
Egg soldiers. Egg soldiers.
Aunt Ada says egg three minutes. - Yes, three.
Coffee? Now? - Yes, please. Er... something's...
Full up? - Yes, please.
Something's...
Cold tap. Quickly.
Nervous... because of journey and train and bus.
Of course, Russia's a long way.
Romania. - Yes.
Do not worry. Not worry.
No problem. It doesn't matter.
Maybe I can show her round the house and tell her what we expect of her.
Make yourself at home.
Come. Come. Come on.
Come on. Please.
Leopold?
Anne-Marie, when? - This afternoon.
Excellent.
Leopold prefers you to do the study in the morning and then the bedrooms.
I know. Aunt Ada say me everything.
Ah, Aunt Ada. Lovely woman. My friend. A good woman.
It's beautiful! So lifelike.
And I know that linocutting isn't easy.
It requires precision. A steady hand.
But Leopold, why... why did you draw a dead tree?
It's in my garden.
Show me... show me your hands.
Both of them.
Those hands, Leopold, your hands, aren't made to draw dead things.
Not dead still lifes.
They should draw... grasp... feel... stroke living things, life.
That's lifelike.
A port?
She comes from Brussels but her husband was a judge here in Ghent.
Yes! Bingo! - She still works for the council...
Part-time. - That's practical. Practical.
And she's into art.
And she's pretty.
She's got it all. And seventy-six matching points!
But? I feel... I feel a but.
I said I... - Was off to Australia for two weeks.
Yes, and I'd phone her when I got back. - I guessed that, Leopold.
Sorry.
It's broken.
Then I see the villa in De Haan,
that huge house in Latem... that park...
And then I think...
Why? Why should I be the only one to enjoy it?
How big was her park in Latem?
Two, three hectares. Maybe four. - And?
No?
Right, who else?
Monique Lejeune.
What?
My fiancé.
Ex-fiancé. - Oh.
Not work, drink vodka...
And women. Everything skirt and breasts.
Nothing good. You say bastard. He bastard.
Women, women, always women. That's bad men.
She can speak good Flemish already!
So much salt! - Pepper. It's pepper.
Christ!
I wonder whether there is anything she can do.
The ironing. - Maybe.
Give her time. - I agreed to the end of the month.
Not a day longer.
Feel Good?
Got everything?
Leopold?
Good luck.
Yeah, we've still got a long way to go.
That's it... Come here, sweetheart, come here. That's it...
Then I can tickle your tummy...
Eh? That's nice, eh sweetheart? You like that, eh?
I'm Colette. What am I looking for?
What am I hoping to find? Just... a man.
This isn't the first time I've met someone.
Someone moved in with me.
But the sight of the screwed up flannels in the bathroom...
Or dirty socks thrown under the bed. I can't stand that.
The last time I had a date here, it was a Wednesday,
you could see from his teeth what he'd eaten at the weekend. So unhygienic!
I'm Ingrid. I work in a supermarket, at the fish counter.
My intention, really, is to go out more.
But that doesn't mean I wouldn't want more than that.
On the other hand, just having it off, as they say...
Can I open it?
Wow, that is serious, eh?
Is it a tree you know?
It's always very annoying. That I can't really remember names.
It's annoying. Not being able to remember anything. Names, I mean.
Apparently you store it somewhere.
You see, it's full up, so I don't do it any more.
My husband Eddy and I had a massage parlour with saunas... You know.
You don't know? It was very heavy sometimes, it was...
I was spoilt, I always had to look good for Eddy.
Then I fell for Louis.
That was the other extreme. Such a serious guy. All he did was read and...
Do you do anything to keep fit?
To be honest, my husband was a lovely man.
I had to do it all. He didn't do a thing.
What I still can do and enjoy doing
is making bouquets, flower arrangements for in church.
I recently picked up a pot of geraniums and felt my hip go.
I've been looking for a long time. A very long time.
I have got kidney stones. That's something you have to live with.
Some people tell me I'm a business all by myself.
I like gardening. People say I should be on television...
I'm good at making things. I've got a friend who's got sheep
and she gives me the wool and I spin it and knit all kinds of things with it.
Like this jacket. Nice, eh?
The moment you walked in the door I...
...just knew we'd hit off! I knew we'd hit it off!
Looks just like a diploma!
And I can cook fondue.
Meat fondue or cheese fondue.
That's raclette, I call it fondue.
Do you like fondue?
The accident happened on the level crossing.
His van was dragged along by the express train to Kortrijk.
Now he just lies there like a plant.
I'll be honest. I don't get enough.
I want to go on a voyage of discovery to find my G-spot. You could be my guide.
I'm warning you, I've got Spanish blood.
You don't say very much.
What d'you want me to say?
We've gone through all the yes's. All the maybes.
We even dug out two no's.
Still no butterflies in your trousers? - No.
Then you've got a problem. - I know.
The first one, Sophia, thinks you're arriving home from Australia today.
She's punctual, Sophia! - Is it two weeks ago already?
Leopold, you returned on a Qantas QF31, with a stopover in London Heathrow,
and landed at Zaventem yesterday morning.
Anne-Marie thinks it's tomorrow, via Frankfurt.
The next day Monique, Singapore Airlines.
Then Colette, Simone, Mathilde... - Yeah, I get the picture.
What shall I say? - Nothing. Let it ring.
What if it's important? - Let it ring!
Telephone. - I know!
Let it ring. It's not important.
Hold on. Your...
Your wages.
Multumesc. Thank you.
Multumesc to you too. You tell him if it's not enough, eh?
Can I ask a thing? - Ask something.
Can I ask something? I buy clothes. Where?
I'll explain where. And Leopold will go with you.
Leopold? Leopold, what are you doing?
Anne-Marie? - Yes.
I recognised you.
Maybe I should've knocked. - Yes, maybe you should have.
I thought you were still in Australia. - Qantas QF13.
I landed... with a stopover at London Heathrow. Yesterday. A stopover.
Landed. - Oh. And how was Australia?
Hot. - Right.
What did you want to tell me that couldn't wait, Leopold?
That I want to see you again. - That'd be nice, Leopold.
Really nice.
She's an acquaintance of mine.
It's bastard.
Liviu.
In the changing room... is that 'yes woman' or 'maybe woman'?
You looked in my portfolio. - Portfolio!
That portfolio proves that I'm taking it seriously. That I'm thinking about it.
Out of respect for the women. - My fiancé also respect with women.
He does respect with many women.
I will not allow you to compare me to your fiancé.
What to do?
You always know best.
And your son?
My son? - He like you?
No, not at all. He's like his mother in all respects.
He's got a life of his own.
He drives a school bus.
But his passion in life is Scrabble.
Scrabble? - Scrabble.
He's a member of a club. A Scrabble club.
He plays Scrabble there. He's addicted to the game.
That's all he wants to do. Drive a school bus and play Scrabble.
Someone with his talent. - Talent?
Talent. Something you're good at, excel at. Talent.
Talent. - Yes.
I talent telephone sex. Speak sex in telephone.
Alina? Alina!
Parents not like either.
Girlfriend do porn. More earn than me.
She every week... - I don't want to know.
Money not everything.
Children. Children real wealth.
He know you look women?
Who? - Your son.
Yes, of course. Of course.
Of course? - Yes.
TO LET
What are you doing? - New room.
I have money for studio.
Maybe it's not necessary. Things are OK as they are, with you in Maarten's room.
Or would you prefer to live elsewhere? - No.
Come on.
Thank you.
For coming shop. And for room.
Hello, welcome on board Leopold Vossius's answering machine.
I'm not here at present but leave your message after the distress signal.
Fell off a Swissair plane. So you don't have to answer the phone to your women.
I've made my choice.
I've chosen a wife, Julien.
So suddenly? - Not so suddenly.
I took my time and considered each one's pros and cons.
We could've done that together. Talked it over. Still, who is it?
Anne-Marie. - Oh.
I'm meeting her here. To get to know her better.
Alright then. - Leave it there, Julien.
You'll tell the others that it's off, won't you?
Yes.
Of course I will. - Hello...
Welcome on board Leopold Vossius's answering machine...
Sorry, sir, but this is a private gathering.
I've come to see Maarten Vossius for a moment.
Oh, our champion. That's OK then. He's over there.
'Shaven'.
What? - 'Shaven'.
Shaven. - Ssh!
Write it down.
32 points.
I... I tidied up your room and...
...your room and...
I found all sorts of cups and medals.
And your very first Scrabble game.
I found that too.
Shaven. 32 points on G- 12. - Piece of cake!
My stuff's in the way or what? - I didn't say that. I...
Fourteenth go. Quebec, Venezuela, France,
China, Egypt, Spain, Norway.
If you've got time... - Dad, please! I'm playing.
'Casanova'.
Write it down.
That's not allowed.
A question mark against 'Casanova'.
Casanova: A noun used to identify a man who seduces women.
We've got a solo. 39 points for Maarten.
Come round if you can. I've got something to tell you.
Fifteenth go. China, Italy,
Egypt, Xanthippe...
Hello, Leopold. It's Erna.
Would you like to come round for a fondue?
You're back from Australia, aren't you? You Crocodile Dundee!
Did you bring any kangaroo meat with you? I could make a fondue with it!
Or would you prefer raclette? I can get some ostrich.
Leopold, phone me if you fancy it. - Julien!
Fondue, I mean. Fondue. Hello? - Leopold?
That answering machine has got to go. Suppose Anne-Marie heard the messages?
Haven't you told the others it's off? - No.
Why not? - I haven't had time yet.
Take it up to the attic. - Wait a minute. Look.
Ready? - Da.
What d'you think? Anne-Marie will be impressed.
Alina baked these herself. Pole 'n... - Poale- n brau.
Pole 'n brow. Almost. A sort of afternoon tea.
That looks good, eh?
You've got a nice house, Leopold.
It's big, too. - Thanks.
Maybe I can show you the whole house later.
I'd like that.
You've got a servant too.
Yes, Alina. She's from Romania.
Thank you.
That's generous of you.
Taking her on in her condition.
How far gone is she?
She's only been here two weeks.
No, no, I mean... How many months pregnant?
Pregnant? Who? - Alina.
I'd say four or five months.
I think that's lovely. New life on its way.
May I? - Of course.
This is my study. - May I?
The artist's studio.
Yet another dead still life, Leopold.
And yet another tree.
You've got a gardener too.
That's Julien.
That's the... - Ah, the bathroom.
Yes, the bathroom.
That's my bedroom.
You really need someone else.
Come on.